Imposter Syndrome - First, Think SENG
I love this article "5 Types of Imposter Syndrome (and 5 ways to battle each one)" because it resonates with me. The description for each type of Imposter Syndrome feel right and the suggestions for coping are spot on, if a little blunt.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- Perfectionism (Excessively high goals.)
- Superwoman/man (Workaholic)
- Natural Genius (Getting it perfect on the first try.)
- Soloist (It only counts if you do it on your own.)
- Expert (Knowing it all is imperative.)
Anyone who works with gifted people can probably identify with these issues. They are real. They get in the way of gifted people living full, happy lives. So we feel inclined to coach them through the mental exercise of getting over Imposter Syndrome.
The problem?
Before we can help gifted people even start to deal with Imposter Syndrome, we have to attend to their emotional needs.
A gifted friend of mine shared this song with me. When I heard it, I immediately thought about how important it is to meet a person's emotional needs before someone is able to help with other interests.
The song begins:
To me, this is exactly the problem people in the neurodiverse community face. Without feeling a sense of belonging, we feel like an imposter.
So when working with a gifted person the first job should be to make them feel like they belong. How? Here are some messages to say to someone to help them feel like they belong:
- I see you.
- I hear you.
- You are perfect just as you are.
- You are enough.
- You are loved.
- You make a difference in my life.
These are things my mentor has said to me and it is what I pay forward to others. Be their safe person. Let them show you their dark side as well as their happiness. Allow space for both (and everything in between).
It is a powerful thing to have someone believe in your inherent goodness. And when a gifted person has a place where they feel comfortable and confident, then they can step into the world with courage and smack Imposter Syndrome in the face.
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